Comments on: Abreast in a Boat

By: brooke

brooke — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 07:19:39 +0000

i’m not a cancer survivor – but i recently discovered your blog. my dad has cancer and so it helps me to read others stories about it.

anyhow, i was drawn to leave a comment here among other women like me – the sand in the oyster. i was that in my peace and justice community in eugene, and am that here in my new life as phd student. there are times when it is difficult, but i know that i can’t compromise myself either within those groups that i join. anyhow – thanks for the interesting words, i appreciate them a lot.

By: brys

brys — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 05:03:40 +0000

Hi Shereen – I am so glad that you wrote such a stunningly beautiful comment. Wow. I am so blessed by the company we keep, here. Thanks for your precious contribution, here, and where you are.

And for Amya, YES, I forgot to respond to your request for pix of my paddling racing ABIAB pinked-out self. I promise to post pix.

By: Shereen

Shereen — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:29:01 +0000

Yet again, what you say rings such a bell with me. That experience of belonging on some level to a variety of ‘communities’, and yet not perfectly within some (or in my case, any) of them – this was something I resented for many years. But in a Buddhist sense, this appears to be my task, my karma, this time around – on some level, to always be the grain of sand in the oyster, never settling frictionless into any community. But it’s almost always in the space of friction, that negotiation of space between differing substance, that the most stunning beauty is created. And it sounds like that is what you do. And will continue to do, whether in an ABIAB space or not.

By: brys

brys — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 02:29:14 +0000

Hiya Amya — Nice to see you here! Welcome. Glad you like reading the blog. I think that to the extent ‘queer’ means, twisted away from what is standardised and centrist, then probably being single and childless is, in many scenarios, queer. The whole issue of who breast cancer happens to and so, what stories are told about it – what images made visible — yes, that is a topic and a cause very dear to my heart.

Here’s what I wrote about queer in another post

“It’s my current obsession – to queer cancer. Eve Sedgwick, in Tendencies, notes that, “The word ‘queer’ itself means across—it comes from the Indo-European root twerkw, which also yields the German queer (traverse) [and] Latin torquere (to twist)” (xii). Queer typically yields a distinctively modificatory meaning, when inserted in front of a noun or verb, as in, Queer Cancer, that means, to distort, ruin, spoil or otherwise F*CK with cancer.”

And so yes, Pat, karmic-ally, the pointing out and inhabitation of gaps and spaces where a different kind of story needs to be crafted, well, uh huh, that does indeed seem to be my designated job. Thanks for the support.

By: Pat

Pat — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 19:15:33 +0000

Mary, I’m sure I’m not the first to point out to you the karmic-ness of this story: you seem destined to be THE ONE who fights the prevailing norms/assumptions, etc. and forge new ground across any number of venues and issues. First (in my memory, anyway) there was the fight for same-sex partner benefits at UBC. Then there was the intellectual property fight at the same institution. Now, it seems that your fate is to educate the ABIAB folks about inclusivity and the politics of breast cancer “beyond the pink.” It must get exhausting being the designated hitter over and over again, but please know that those of us who are the beneficiaries of your karma do not take this lightly and are humbly grateful. Once again: you go, girl!

By: Amya

Amya — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 17:22:34 +0000

can i edit my post? I think I wasn’t clear in the beginning, I meant to say that the identity story of husbands and children comes up over and over again (and it’s not a bad thing) just overhwelming sometimes for me personally.

By: Amya

Amya — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 17:19:51 +0000

Hi – Well, so you’ll add another voice to it, an identity narrative and logic of inclusion that doesn’t involve husbands, and that, in my book, will be a Very Good Thing. ….For me here in Portland, I’m one of a very few young survivors that I’ve met who doesn’t have a child, and who is not married. That story comes up in overwhelming amounts, and I have to remind myself over and over that there are women like me, it’s just that somehow in this one situation in this room at this exact moment in time (many months in a row though) I seem to be the only one, but logically I know that I’m not the only one, and that by the very fact of my being present women like me will eventually come by and feel more comfortable because I’m there. Or maybe they’re just bold in the world and will feel comfortable without me there!

In any case, that’s not a queer identity, just a single, childless one which I realize is not at all the same, but my point is: all of these survivor groups, IMHO, will benefit and grow with diverse identities. Because of course breast cancer doesn’t just happen to people with husbands and/or kids. My apologies if I’m not up on queer PC language, but I do love reading your blog and your take on the world. It makes that YS room a little bit bigger and more interesting and I dare say, more fun, because seeing you as a dragon boat drag king/queen/etc. sounds like a blast. Pls post pictures when you actually race, pretty pls.